Delving into the intricate tapestry of truth, my life unfolds as a myriad of identities—entrepreneur, wife, artist, author, and spiritualist. However, the core that encapsulates my essence is undoubtedly that of a mother.
When someone impinges upon the sanctity of this sacred identity, I find myself coming undone, a reaction that only resonates with those who have embarked on the journey of parenthood. I want to make it clear that I've never raised my children with the expectation that they owe me anything in return for my love. My home has been a haven for countless souls, each leaving an indelible mark on my heart. I've fought fiercely to ensure the safety of some, while others have drawn strength from my love to persevere in their own battles.
Acknowledging my imperfections as a human being, I grapple with a unique transformation when the cherished identity of motherhood is threatened. It births a new persona, one rooted in protection, and it's not a pleasant sight for those who attempt to undermine it. I become unrecognizable. The predictable woman becomes unhinged with calculated intelligence and fierceness.
I've always been disgusted by the notion of using children as mere pawns in life's intricate chess game. This morning, I awoke feeling drained and defeated after years of grappling with various challenges, finally embracing the inner acceptance of surrender—a daunting feat for someone who instinctively avoids conflict.
In the realm of dreams, a powerful symbol emerged: a Phoenix rising from the flames. Surrounding me were numerous women, many with the glow of impending motherhood. An elder figure whispered words of comfort as the flames erupted, assuring me that I was safe in the arms of the Divine. This wasn't a surrender born out of avoidance; rather, it was an acknowledgment that everything was unfolding as it should.
As 2023 draws to a close, I reflect on the intensity of the year, a period for which I had been preparing and conserving my energy. It's no surprise that it concludes with a plethora of unknowns and transformative changes. My heart, both metaphorically and literally, bears the scars of the battles fought… and will continue to fight for my children.
The truth, I've come to realize, is a multifaceted gem. Despite scrutinizing it from every conceivable angle, each person weaves their own unique story and perspective. Amidst the uncertainties, one constant remains—I am here to fulfill the role of a mother, whether to my own children or to the world at large.
In closing, I extend my love to you. May you find your own truth and follow it this new year as your North Star… Millie
“Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.” —Gilda Radner
